“It was like standing in the sunshine, being near Pete.”

I love this description from one of my cousins.

Pete was the best brother I could have wished for and, with him to walk alongside in life, he certainly made my world shine more brightly.

As a little boy, Pete was a cheerful soul, always happy and content building Lego, playing in the garden or outside with friends in our road. From a young age, he was a huge encourager and had the most extraordinary compassion for people. If, for example, he noticed a child in his class being teased or left out, he would include them, extending kindness and genuine friendship. And even when facing his own worries and trials as he got older, his gentle, warm-hearted nature shone through.

On my wedding day, I was proud to have Pete by my side, walking me down the aisle to give me away to Ed. Since then he has loved, encouraged and prayed for us both through many ups and downs. He adored our daughter Imogen and cherished the time spent with her as she grew up. They had a special bond. As Pete’s health deteriorated he became sad that Imogen wouldn’t see him as a fun uncle anymore, but far from it. Children have a wonderful way of bringing life and laughter into a room and being ‘in the moment’ and their bond went beyond any disability. So thanks to the creativity of both uncle and niece, they always had a great time. One time they became judges for The Voice – he in his wheelchair and her in a swivel chair – having great fun turning for each act they liked. She would ride on his lap to Hove lagoon or the seafront and he’d let her take the chair controls, which she loved. With the help of his carers, he organised treats on her birthday each year. And even when he became bed bound, he could very easily cause hilarity in the room by instructing Alexa, via his voice technology, to play various things such as 100 different farts!

As brother and sister, I loved sharing with Pete the enjoyment he found in the simple things in life (a walk, a meal, reading the papers in a coffee shop) – just time – spent in one another’s company. He was great at telling an amusing story or re-living a funny moment, his contagious laughter often bubbling up well before he got the story out! If I invited friends over to the two homes we shared for a time in London in our 20s and 30s, I always knew that if Pete was there, there’d be a lot of laughs and good conversation.  Our barbecues in his garden in Mortlake on Boat Race day were great fun, watching the race on TV until Hammersmith Bridge, then all running across the road to the river to catch the finish.

I treasured the chats we had, and Pete’s immense wisdom and insight… I learnt so much from him, and he really cared about what was on my heart. One of the most upsetting times for me was in the autumn of 2019, as Pete was losing his ability to speak, and I realised that a meaningful conversation we were having may be our last. It was. But Pete never gave up trying to communicate, however hard it became. Even when using his eye gaze technology became so difficult that it would take him an hour or more to convey just a few words, somehow he was still able to bring such comfort and understanding to every situation I shared with him.

Through all the anxiety and distress Pete faced in his latter years, on so many levels, he remained the same loving, giving brother – caring deeply about how Ed, Imogen and I were, over and above how he was. We have been left with a huge hole our lives and the grief is hard to bear. However, Pete will always remain a part of our special times as a family because he left an imprint on our lives that lives on here even though he is in heaven. 

My brother helped me to see that every day is a new opportunity to CHOOSE JOY – despite the sadness and overwhelming challenges life can bring.

I know for sure that Pete would be very moved by the way friends so dear to him are coming together to organise, train for, support and undertake this rowing challenge, whilst also fundraising for the Motor Neurone Disease Association, which offered such valuable care and assistance to him and to our family as he battled MND for 7+ years. So on behalf of all of us - Mum (Anne), Harry, Ed, Imogen and me (Nicky) - a massive thank you to everyone involved. We’re all cheering you on as you prepare for 100k! (upstream!)

I’d like to end with a Bible passage which Pete referred to in relation to our mum's unwavering love for us through everything. I find these words also make me think of him.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7